Lots of small comments to make and muse over from the last couple of weeks. I went walking quite a lot just around Standish when I first got back from Durham. One night after school when I'd set off I was drawn into one of the local cemetary's by a 'happy 21st' balloon. The grave stone displayed it held the body of a sixteen year old girl and the balloon was left with flowers and a card from the girl's mother. The stone next to it was for a little girl who had died just one day old and I wondered if it was coincidence that two people, who would be considered in today's society, to have died 'early', to lie so close together- and whether that would in fact be comforting for the visiting relatives to be surrounded by grievers who understand some part...
On the train to Liverpool I read an article in the paper about cutbacks that have been made in crematoriums. The basic gist of the article was that bodies were now to be saved and burned at the end of the day/week together- basically whenever there were enough bodies to fill up the ovens. There was outrage over this and one person was quoted for saying-
we do need to make cutbacks, but not with our dead. Why not with our dead? All the ceremonious funeral arrangements in the past have been for religious views. Looking at the mummies last week in London, all the effort was gone to because of the belief that the body must be preserved, so that it may pass on to the next life. But in our 'secularising' society that we supposedly live in, with few people believing in any faith, including a life after this one. So if this is the case- surely there's no need to keep spending unecessary amounts of money.
It strikes me that, in the way that no other religious ceremony has done, no one can let go to the funeral. This show's most clearly in places where tax is required for the faithful. In Finland, more and more people leave the Lutheran Church each day and yet the graveyards are run by the Church and without membership, and taxes, you cannot be baptised, married and burried in the Church. Marriage isn't an issue these days for most people, and Baptism is not as fearful as it used to be. Yet the funeral is an issue and is something- that whether it's a last minute plea/hope, just in case, or a desire to do one last thing for their loved one- the funeral causes more problems, I would say, than any other liturgical practice within the Church.
Then at Lucy and Kieran's wedding last week a group of us got into a big discussion about funerals. We talked about whether it was important to plan your own funeral, how we've dealt with other people's funerals and what's important/imperative to include. For me, I'm always ok until the music starts- and it is ALWAYS the music that sets me off crying. I can usually then sort myself out until another hymn starts and again I cannot hide it any longer. I've always been affected by music and it can easily determine my feelings. But my mum's made me consider my own funeral hymns for years, and it is something always in the back of my mind. When in school one morning with a couple of the RE staff, one of the guys was telling us how his friend was brought into the church in the coffin to 'Bring Him Home' from Les Miserables. I was taken aback when he said it, and have played it on the piano this afternoon with a whole new light. It's a beautiful song, and perfectly perfect for a funeral. And so I'll end with the lyrics.....
God on high
Hear my prayer
In my need
You have always been there
He is young
He's afraid
Let him rest
Heaven blessed.
Bring him home, Bring him home, Bring him home.
He's like the son I might have known
If God had granted me a son.
The summers die
One by one
How soon they fly
On and on
And I am old
And will be gone.
Bring him peace
Bring him joy
He is young
He is only a boy
You can take
You can give
Let him be
Let him live
If I die, let me die
Let him live
Bring him home, Bring him home, Bring him home.
